Boundaries...
Why are so many people powerless to set boundaries?
Most the time is because we do not want to hurt another person's feelings;
Knowing your own personal boundaries will keep you healthy!
Knowing what is my stuff gives me freedom!
There are things and people that will try to diminish you!
Learning to be able to tell others what "YOUR BOUNDARIES ARE"
This is key...
Have you ever heard someone say, well they never told me that!
People cannot read your mind!
You also can not assume!
We must learn are own comfort and safe zones.
Being able to say I am not comfortable with this;
Behavior
Rudeness
Manipulation
Knowing your boundaries helps you,
And in the long run, it helps others!
We are not responsible for other adults boundaries.
But if you do not take care of your own perimeters
You will open the gate to wolves!
No one can do certain things for us!
People will try to lay all their burdens upon you!
We are all called to carry our own burdens!
So many people are just plain irresponsible, and then we are backed into a corner,
If only you will say enough and NO to certain things!
Look, it's your home and your life;
Believe that you have a right and an obligation to keep certain things out!
The reason a good fence has a gate you can open is so you can let the
GOOD IN
And keep the
BAD OUT
If you don't, you might as well put a revolving door on the front of your home.
God limits what He will allow in His Yard!
He guards His house and will not allow evil to live there.
I learned many years ago to set boundaries!
We do not have to be a door mat for everything that comes along.
Our Words will have to be our defense for setting boundaries!
NO...
That behavior is not acceptable
Drinking
Smoking (cigarettes, pot)
Foul language
Touch
We can say these things with a voice of ownership!
Mean what you say
Passivity will never set boundaries, but will keep you stuck and you will become resentful!
I had a problem years ago with someone who always brought their dog
Huge dog and he always would pee on my floors!
I finally told them nicely that it was not going to work for me any more.
Guess what, they never came back;
They were mad at me forever!
Yes, it was sad, but that was the beginning of finding my voice and knowing
My limits and my boundaries...
Being honest or truthful will hurt someone!
But the truth will set you free.
Preserving our own soul from wolves that desire to kill us!
Being aggressive for the right to keep our homes safe and our hearts healthy!
Stress and saying yes to everything makes one weak and vulnerable!
Take heart, we are more than overcomes!
I am thankful that in this season of my life I have very few people who
Keep watch and learn how to set healthy, safe boundaries for yourself!
Blessings To All
And To All A Safe And Healthy Life...
Living From Glory To Glory
I do have a difficult time setting boundaries. For the most part though, I am blessed with friends who do not try to take advantage of me. The hardest thing I have is standing up for myself when the situation warrants it. I have a tendency to apologize to others for their bad behavior! I have no idea why I do that except maybe I have a fear of being alone. I don’t want to offend anyone. Thank you for your wise words today.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Betsy
What a powerful post and so needed, especially at this time of year. We have neighbors who we got to know over the last several years and we had a very hard situation with them-he is an alcoholic and has anger issues. Although we would do things socially with them, his drinking got worse and we finally had to stop being with them. My hubby told him one day why we had stepped back and I continue to occasionally do things with the wife(who is in total denial). Since we have limited our involvement and feel so much better. It was difficult to do, but the stress from their constant calling etc has lessened. I battled with my own heart in this situation on how to deal with it correctly, not sure we did but I know if we had it to do all over again, we wouldn't begin a relationship with them. Sad-for all of us. They have planned to move out of state prior to this issue and we wish them the best and pray for God's will to be done in their lives.
ReplyDeleteThank you Roxy for your wisdom here.
Hugs,
Noreen
Ugh. We have a family member who pushes themselves on us and makes us feel guilty for not helping them when we hardly have anytime with just my husband, children, and myself. It is hard knowing where to draw lines and also knowing I will make so many mad when I do. :(
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this post. I needed this today.
ReplyDeleteDee
I very much enjoyed your letter today. May our Lord bless your ministry in the gift of writing.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a pertinent topic this time of year.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how you explain how boundaries are important and helpful. Even if it hurts others. So true, people can't read your mind and never assume anything!
Great post. I am dealing with many of these issues as well..
ReplyDeleteDear Roxy, I have always struggled with this, but am a lot better at it than I used to be. I have learned to say, let me pray about it, when someone asks me to do something. I used to automatically say yes, and this gives me time to reflect and consider. Funny thing, my answer usually ends up being no! Great post. xo Deborah
ReplyDelete