One of the greatest gifts to give yourself and to your husband and family is this;
Learning to move with the ebb and flow of life...
There is a rhythm that life takes on with just doing and trusting;
No stress and a deep, abiding wholeness.
Most the time when life gets chaotic and stressful is when we are doing too much!
We all can do something each and everyday;
But taking on other person's responsibilities is just foolish
And not biblical at all!
Now, hear me out, we will all have small slots when much more may be required of us.
When sickness comes or a move or trials come;
I fully get that, we must help and pull a bit extra.
We need to help someone in a difficult situation, that is biblical too.
I am talking about others getting away with dumping all their responsibilities on you!
It most cases we live in the overflow of the chaos of the bad decisions of others!
This is called sowing what you reap...
Now, that is a biblical term, and we have all seen the fruit of this truth!
We allow so many to do only what they want and hold no one accountable.
Then we are expected to do our share and carry burdens and work;
That was not intended for us to do or carry
So when we do more than what God has asked of us all the time;
We get overloaded, and we become stressed and filled with anxiety.
We can become feeling a bit down and blue!
The rhythm and blues get out of sync in your life.
And on the other hand, we may be the ones not carrying our share or load;
And we are causing this undo stress on another;
No matter who is not doing their share, this will cause an undercurrent and pulls others under!
I will also add this little surmise, some can carry very heavy loads and it does not
This is what I mean by ebb and flow, we all need to learn this and adjust our days
And commitment to others as what will work and not break us down.
This is old fashion wisdom! And maybe what should be common sense.
"But as a nice person we may take on a false christian bear it all mentality"
We all need to learn these levels of commitment to helping others,
We have all heard terms like enabling or your really not helping them;
God just may be growing them and you are interfering with what God is teaching them!
And if you do too much that is what we really are doing;
Do not over commit, but do what you are suppose to do;
Just use wisdom and learn to say NO...
God has his way of training and maturing each of us;
So do not carry another burden that is theirs to carry,
You are not really helping!
We all must grow up and take responsibility for our lives!
We must always encourage them and lift them in prayer, but doing all the work
Is not really helping them at all!
Help others to have roots so they can stand the winds of adversity
Do not clip their wings!
Help them to soar and grow...
That is real teaching and disciplining and mentoring!
Not doing it for them...
Do you see yourself in this?
I agree, Roxy: your own responsibilities must come first. We have a social gospel these days that says we have to take care,of,the world and makes us think we are,obligated to make life better for everyone outside our home. Nothing wrong with taking a food gift to someone but if they are able-bodied, they can learn better by our example. This is where teaching is needed, so that people will take care of themselves and avoid being a burden on others. The homemaker is sometimes thought to be so free with nothing to do, and others may prey upon her time,,giving her more to do or more to worry about.
ReplyDeleteRoxy,Yes!Thank You.Sometimes I have problems with drawing the line with one out of four of My daughters.True biblical wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHappy Saturday, Roxy! I've learned a lot about this issue, having grown children who still want help, occasionally, but me not knowing exactly where to draw the line sometimes. It's a very tricky course to travel on. You want to lift burdens, but not too much, since burdens are often teachers. I learned long ago that sometimes "no" is a very good word to use. It's an issue of discernment. We need the Lord to give us the knowledge to know what to do in every situation. And He does! The results might be painful in places, but they pave the way for growth. How I wish I was like King David and always sought the Lord in every problem. But I guess even he messed up now and then. Still, to have his passion for God!
ReplyDeleteDid you have me in mind when you wrote this? I feel like you knew I needed to read every word over and over until it sinks in.
ReplyDeleteIsn't God amazing how he can use someone, who I have never met, but who knows what I needed to hear?
Thank you!
(rereading this again!)
Thank you for this post!! It is something to think about and check my life by. That and the bible of course!! God bless
ReplyDeleteKelly
Hi Roxy and thank you for your sweet visit. Very wise words today. As I grow older, I know I am not able to easily do what I once did. We have to learn to pace ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHi Roxy, this is so very good my friend and something I believe completely.
ReplyDeleteIt was so good for me to read this right now confirming my thoughts on a matter in a family.
Thank you for sharing. Your talents and christian lessons are a blessing.
Have a nice weekend my friend.
Hugs, CM
I have a hard time saying no, and end up taking on other's responsibilities. Instead of helping them, I end up enabling them to take advantage.
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this post.
Thank you for sharing this today, Roxy.
Debbie
xoxo
Good post,Roxy, and yes at times I do see myself in this. I am learning to pray for discernment in what is asked of me and how and when to help others.So much to ponder on in your post, thanks for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteHi Roxy! Your post definitely resonates in my soul today. I've missed coming by and reading your words of wisdom. Thank you for always being sincere and loving in your encouragement and admonishment. {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteHi Roxy,
ReplyDeleteSo true and I think sometimes we just need to hear it or see it to remind us it's ok to say no. I needed that today for sure!
Thanks!
Linda
mysewwhatblog
You always have a good word, Rox, and it is so well said, and very true. I always appreciate your reminders and practical wisdom, it is definitely a gift God has given you. You and your family have always been "there" when someone was in need, but you have also learned to help people walk upright on their own as well. As you said; "Helping others to have roots so they can stand the winds of adversity; do not clip their wings! help them to soar and grow…" is well said, and is what we must learn as we gain maturity in Christ. Love you and miss you.
ReplyDeletePam
WOW! Roxy, such an awesome word! I am book marking this post,as a reminder to me to know when to say no and when to say yes! Thank you for your encouragement!, and for visiting me and taking the time to leave such a sweet comment!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sue
"Most the time when life gets chaotic and stressful is when we are doing too much!"
ReplyDeleteAmen to that, Roxy!
Dearest Roxy, this has to be one of my favorite posts from you. There are times when I have a hard time saying no to a loved one when I NEED to say no. You are absolutely right that we are not helping others when we try to carry their burden and it's nor our burden to carry. Such words of wisdom, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you sharing this with Roses of Inspiration. Love to you!
Dear Roxy;
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful for this word in season. Exactly what my heart needed at this moment.
God is so faithful.
God bless you and yours.
Trish
This is so good, Roxy. For a long time, I thought that i was supposed to be "nice" and do everything. I thought that saying no was selfish, esp for a Christian, or because I was home not "doing anything" ha!!
ReplyDeleteVery good reminder.
This is some serious food for thought from a person who has a hard time saying "no". And when I hope to bless someone, oftentimes it hurts the family because I become stressed. Thank you for sharing this!!!
ReplyDelete