Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Feelings Of Being Lonely After You Become An Empty Nester...



Living From Glory To Glory Blog


Feeling Lonely

When I was a very young woman and mother and wife;
I really can not remember feeling lonely;

I do remember wondering if I would even be able to find 5 minutes to myself.

After my children were grown and left home;
I dare say I went into a terrible funk...

I felt my whole purpose in life had flown out the window.
Raising children really is a full time job,
as it least was for me...

No one ever told me or even warned me of how sad I would feel when
That season would be over how I might just feel!

I remember telling my sister how sad and lonely I felt;
Well, she told me this
This my dear is your reward...
To do and be and to create and read and craft and crochet,
And to bake and clean the house and it stays clean.
Laundry that only requires 2-3 loads a week!

Now, what I am saying is this was a healthy perception of this
Very lonely dilemma.

I spent many years remaking my days and outlook on life!

The purpose of this post is to all you wonderful and blessed mommies
is that this season will pass!
And it is very wise to keep ideas and thoughts in your heart
Some things you would like to do when you become an EMPTY HOME.

But, I also want to say make the time and the relationship with your HUSBAND
In the top priority NOW...

Yes, I have said in the past, I do get lonely especially in the evenings.
But also this is when I do feel a bit emotional and spent from a long day.

It seems that I always thought I would have more friends,
And all my family around me.
But they now have their own lives and some have moved far away.
So, I trust the Lord and I keep moving forward...

I miss many things, but I am still learning to take pleasure in the
small and comforting things I can do for myself and my dear hubby.
Keep your heart free from living to much in the past.
Keep your eyes on the eternal price.
Keep asking the Lord, where and what He wants you to do!
Keep your heart at HOME even if everyone has moved on!

I do wonder if it is maybe even harder for women who have worked
outside the home, during the time the children were living at home?

Also, I have had many friends that have gone back to work
 after their children were grown or just older.

I do hope someone will find a bit of encouragement from this post!

I do know I still enjoy the fellowship and yet everything now days
Does seem to be what others call squeeze it in...

Remember the word does tell us to leave in cleave
Honor the Father and thy Mother
Do not forsake the assembling together.

Everything changes according to His will in all our lives!





22 comments:

Amy said...

Such a good post, Roxy! I do love some quiet time but I also love the busyness of my boys being home. It's hard to imagine them all not being here, but I know it will all be okay when they leave. I've got a glimpse into what empty nest must feel like this week and I must say it is way too quiet! Glad I have my friend next door. Enjoy your day!
Hugs, Amy

Christine said...

You have written what has been in and on my heart.
You said it with truth.
Your advice to young mothers is spot on, so please take heed.
It took me awhile to get back on my feet after being on my knees in prayer.

Maryann said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. I worked outside the home part time when my children were growing up but family and family time was so important to me. Our lives look much different now. Sons and grandchildren are far away and even my extended family lives far away. You are right though, I have learned to do many things since my nest is empty that I never had time for before. It is hard at times but I too am learning to be content with the season the Lord has me in. Wonderful post Roxy.

NanaDiana said...

A great post, Roxy! I think that women that have worked outside the home when their kids were young actually have it easier. They are not as "tied to" their kids every moment like stay-at-home moms are. They have a life outside of the home and I think that makes the transition easier.

I loved being a mom but I also love this part of my life when I am a grandmother. xo Diana

Vee said...

Oh I hear you. So many of my RL (real life) friends are still working. Some are caring for grands all the time. Guess that's why blogging buddies have a hold on my heart. Good advice for those moms who will, if all goes as planned, one day have an empty nest. Your sister is a wise lady and you are, too!

CelestinaMarie@SouthernDayDreams said...

Hi Roxy, what a wonderful post. I have to say, I remember feeling a bit redirected when my son left home. It was a time of new growth and purpose but yet, still the need to be a mom ready to help when needed. I am alone a lot with my husbands travels, but I am never lonely. Their is a difference. I actually love my alone time to accomplish what God has shown me needs done. I feel however a missing for the people in my life that have passed from this world, but again, there's a difference. I suppose this all comes from experience over time. Something young moms have to learn and go through over time. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and blessings.
Have a great week and Happy November. xo

Anne Payne said...

Excellent encouragement and advice for busy moms and empty nest moms. It's sort of a roller coaster for me right now. The feelings are so new. Some days are exciting and others I would give anything to go back to having all of my children in my nest. Life does go forward though, and I try to keep busy. I have all the time now for those things I could only squeeze in before. I'm sure I will soon get my wings and fly! :-)

Rick Watson said...

Great perspective Roxy.

Estelle's said...

I SO relate to this post Roxy! When we relocated to Maine, I thought my heart would never he whole again. I retired after 30 years of working, my youngest child just graduated from college and we moved across the country after 22 years in one place. Big mistake! Even though my husbands career was at it's highest, we were both sad, lonely and felt adrift...family and friends all left behind. It was with God's guidance and grace we were able to be offered the opportunity to move back home. I am thankful for that every moment of the day. We must all learn to reinvent ourselves after being "moms" for all those years...and it's not easy! Thank you ever so much for saying the words we all have felt! Love and hugs!

Pam said...

Hi Rox, your post makes me see that we are on the same wave length this week, hahaha, as we often are. I know that every generation of women goes through and feels all of these things, the joy, the loneliness, the work, the rest, the chaos, the quiet; the loneliness: The loneliness I felt when all of my children were gone, (and not even a grandchild within reach) was great; Perhaps like you, I didn't often feel lonely when my children were small, but I certainly longed for fellowship of women I could relate to, I do believe that the Lord draws us to Him, in our lonely times, and if we allow him, those times become some of our deepest fellowship times with Him, so I have become grateful for them as well. Have a lovely week end Rox, and thank you for the sweet word of encouragement.
XOXO
Pam

Barbara Emanuel said...

I love that I was a part of your life when we were both moms with young children to raise. We had some good times, some great laughs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the different seasons of life. There are bittersweet moments when we remember precious times, but you wouldn't have had the time, then, to write this blog that God blesses us with through you! Chris is far away, as well, and my heart warms whenever I think of him. Yet, I love having more quality time with the Lord and more time to do fun things with Bill! To new and exciting seasons with the Lord!

Deborah Montgomery said...

I'm still adjusting to this new stage of life. Our youngest just moved out of state in July, making two out of the three of them out of state. I miss them all so much. You are right not to spend too much time looking back. I am enjoying this new time as well, but it is an adjustment. Blessings, Deborah (thanks for your sweet comment on my blog)

SpicingUpIdaho said...

I am not quite an empty nester yet, but it is on the horizon. Oh, how I appreciated your insights into this season that is fast approaching for me. There are times even now, when I get a glimpse of what it will be like with just my husband and I, and you are so right - we must nurture and care for our marriage most of all because we only have our children for a few years before they leave, and then it will be years with our husband, and we must culture and nurture that relationship. Very wise words, and sharing of your heart dear Roxy!

Dorothy Langlois said...

Great post Roxy. So important for young women/moms to nurture their marriage along with their children because all too soon the children are grown and we want our home to still contain a healthy blessed marriage even if the nest is vacant. I love being a grandmother and a mother that is still needed but my first priority is always to my husband.
Blessings from Arizona,
Dorothy

Hi Friends said...

Mom, that was a wonderful post! It's hard to think that all this craziness will be here only for a while. I try each day to treasure it. I Remember how fast it went for me! I love how you said that you better have a relationship with your husband because when all your kids are gone he is the one your spending all your time with. I am glad to hear that your trying to keep yourself busy with crafts and such things. It a wonderful season to be in. Miss you very much!

Jemma said...

I recently told my four year old that Im going to have to put an ad in the paper for littles who need help with things because she is becoming so independent! All of my children are still at home, and I know you are talking about a different kind of loneliness. . . . But I feel like He must be starting the process in me now. . .

the warmfireplace said...

What a timely post, i have been feeling just like that, you just turn around and the children are all grown up and gone, i still have one son at home here and there, but he is leading his life. I found the days stretching ahead of me and wondered the purpose now of my life, but i have been busy growing, cooking, crafts and i find more quiet time to pray and think,when i am lonely i find a task to do, i feel my life is building up and God is showing me the path i must take after the business of children, i am fortunate that the children live near so i am needed for garden advice, baby sitting, or a chat, so i dont feel totally redundant lol.
Sue

Debbie said...

Being an empty nester is a process when the kids leave for college one by one. When you move away, it becomes a life change. I'm still trying to cope with being three hours away from my daughters and their families, and it's been over ten years. I thought my bond with my husband was strong during those years with the girls....but when the grandkids came along, my longing to live closer to my family became stronger. I miss family dinners, birthdays and holidays. I travel to see them as much as possible, and the kids stay here when they are able. My husband and I still work part time to keep ourselves occupied. We have our hobbies, and things we like to do together. We moved north for retirement because of his love of hunting and fishing. I thought the kids would be able to spend more time here in the summer months...but with sports and other activities it didn't work out that way. We've tried to sell this house to move back twice. God has other plans. It's been difficult at times. I must trust His will for my life.
Debbie
xo

magnoliasntea said...

Good Morning, Roxy!
I have to say I have felt your pain, and my, my it was intense most of the time. When our youngest got married the walls screamed loneliness, but the Lord faithfully helped us through it. At the time I was helping with homeschooling our other daughter's girls so that helped tremendously. Goodman works so that helped him greatly. After a while I dived back into my sewing and other crafts and gleeful planning for visits. It's easier now, and we value our time when we have no guests even. ;) It's all good as the Lord directs.
Blessings,
Toni

Kim said...

My mom always said, tend the relationship with your husband, it will be you two again before you know it. How right she was! My empty nest is on the horizon and for a stay at home mom, yikes, I know that I will miss the hurry and scurry. I am trying to cultivate some outside interests now, but I don't see how I am not going to feel at least a bit lonely and miss the full house and all of its glorious chaos. Thanks so much for sharing.

ladypinktulip said...

Excellent thoughts Roxy, Thank You...Kelly Thompson

JES said...

Thank you for sharing this Roxy... This time may be coming for me within the decade and I was wondering how I would cope. Keeping close to hubby is good advice also...

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